Today, I made a fist.
Two fists.
One with each hand.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that. It is still a tad tight but being able to feel my nails on my thumbpad is quite something.
I’m on Day 4 of a 14-day Ayurvedic panchakarma and I’m feeling the pain.
The blasting headache that appeared towards the end of Day 1 disappeared by the morning of Day 3. In its place have appeared other pains.
Deep pains.
Muscle pains.
But I can make a fist.
Two fists.
The therapists and my doctor, all from Kerala in India, tell me it can happen. It’s normal. We’re in the pre-cleansing period (purva karma), so of course, I’ll have pain.
I have pain.
The other two patients (one on Day 4, the other on Day 11) don’t. But we have different doshas.
Apples and oranges, they tell me. Apples and oranges.
But I can make a fist. Two fists.
I lay on the treatment table, staring in awe at my fist.
It reminded me of how a baby might look at their fingers. Something new. Something different. Something wonderful.
It’s a reminder of how much I take for granted, of how I don’t take nearly enough time to delight in the ordinary, of how I need to get back to appreciating the simple things.
Like being able to make a fist. Two fists.
I eat my meals in silence. No phones. No kindle. No tablet. Nothing. Just me and my food.
My mother, God be good to her, marvelled at how quickly I’d wolf down a meal. What’s the hurry, she’d ask. Where are you running to?
I wouldn’t be in a hurry. I wouldn’t be running anywhere. But I always ate quickly.
Perhaps in some former life, food was scarce – or maybe I came from a large family, and if I didn’t eat quickly, I didn’t get to eat much at all.
Now, though, it can take me 15 minutes to eat a bowl of soup.
I’m eating mindfully.
And I can make a fist. Two fists.
And I’m eating more slowly.
I can live with the pain, knowing it’s not permanent.
It’s a good tradeoff.
I’m grateful.
Go on, tell me. Did you make a fist as you were reading this?
13 responses
Yes I made a fist. 2 fists, with
nail marks in my palms.
Solidarity!
Not until I read ‘Go on, tell me. Did you make a fist as you were reading this?’ Then I did, like Steve, with both hands. … You are everywoman, and I read your grateful series to learn (I’m that egotistical — it’s all about me) and appreciate. So I immediately bent and felt my elbow for a pain I’m always working on. Interesting — but I promise, I was concerned (and surprised because I don’t think of you as having human limitations) about your fist and flexibility! And whenever I read a grateful blog, I’m grateful for you. Gracias!
My limitations are many, and increasing every year.
I made a fist everytime you said it like a well trained pup😂😂😂
Mad, really, how Pavlovian we can be.
So glad to read this report! No, i didn’t make fists, but stretched out my painful neck joints as i took in your words, so sort of instinctively shadowing your progress.
Yes, I made one fist the second time you said you had made two fists. Didn’t make the other fist until you challenged me at the end. 🙂
Aren’t we funny creatures…
Panchakarma? Five karmas?
Yup – but I’m only having 3 of the 5 (no vomiting or blood-letting)
So, I’m so sorry for not keeping up with you, but what’s going on?!
Trying to find happier solution for my arthritis than western medicine offers…