Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

Author John Ortberg wrote:

Columbia researcher Sheena Iyengar has found that the average person makes about seventy conscious decisions every day. That’s 25,550 decisions a year. Over seventy years, that’s 1,788,500 decisions. Albert Camus said, “Life is a sum of all your choices.” You put all those 1,788,500 choices together, and that’s who you are.

I read this.

And laughed.

Seventy? Lately, I’ve been making 70 decisions before my first cup of coffee.

We’re four years into an 18-month renovation and the strain is showing.

What colour to stain the floorboards?

Should they match or come close to the exposed wood inside?

Does it matter?

What colour should I choose to paint the house?

Should the pillars be the same green or a different green?

And if the base green doesn’t match the railings will that look okay?

Should I go with green at all?

I have a daily decision quota. The number itself is irrelevant. I know when I’ve reached it.

My answers get shorter. My mood changes. The hand goes up and I want to run.

I’ve left full shopping trolleys behind me. I’ve shut down my screen. I’ve walked away leaving himself to explain that no, there won’t be a decision today.

I know when I don’t have any decisions left in me.

I’ve learned to sort my renovation decisions into two lots – those I might not be able to live with if I get them wrong, and those I can adjust to regardless.

Choosing a light fixture for the closet was a ‘whatever’. Choosing paint for the outside of the house was a decision I needed to get right.

The decision has been made and my degree of certainty that the decision was the right one is hovering at about 60%. There’s no way of telling until I see it on the walls.

And those walls are big walls.

And yes, there is software that would let me see the overall effect but paint on a swatch and paint on a wall differ – it’s about the light. And yes, I had a patch painted but my brain can’t magnify one small patch to make it cover the whole house.

I went all out to choose the right shade of blue for my back bedroom wall. And in a certain light, it’s what I wanted. However that certain light doesn’t come all day every day. Until the room is furnished I won’t know if I’ve made the right call.

Likewise with my Bishop’s purple for the guest room. That colour I had mixed. I knew what I wanted. But again, I hadn’t figured on the light. And again, until the room is furnished I won’t know if I’ve made the right call.

My office though – that I got right. Walls and ceiling – all in a dark green. I love it.

I’m currently dithering about what to put on the floor.

Painting interior walls is no big deal. They can get a do-over if I find I can’t live with the consequences of my decisions.

Repainting the outside of the house would cost money I don’t have to spend. That decision has more costly ramifications.

In the grand scheme of things, my decisions regarding the house affect two people. And himself is far more flexible – he can adapt.

When putting my decisions into perspective, they’re not life-and-death situations.  They’re of no great consequence in the grand scheme of things. This is something I have to remind myself of. Daily.

This day last year, though, people were making decisions that would radically change the lives of thousands of Israelis and Palestinians and kill many in the process.

Decisions were taken. And not taken.

With harrowing consequences.

If Hamas, Palestine, Israel, and the world’s leaders looking on – if they had a do-over, I wonder what they’d do differently?

PS Featured photo is a sunset as seen from the terrace – this makes those decisions worth it.