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2023 Grateful 24: Unsolicited solicitations

I’ve been getting too many comments and messages from people I’ve never met nor do I care to meet. They range from the sublime to the ridiculous.

This latest one is a doozy.

Greetings from the United kingdom.

Please I humbly and most respectfully want to urgently speak with you in respect to my friend and my late customer Mr.  Csaba Schmidt who was the Mayor of Tatabanya and member of the Fedesz who died on March 19, 2023. Very sad News indeed.  (May His Soul Rest In Peace). Amen.

The word Please these days is flogged to within an inch of its life, to the point where it has all but lost its meaning. Please find enclosed…Please find attached… Please send me X by Y… Please respond… Please do your damn job.

Am all for manners and am a huge fan of etiquette but please stop saying please so often.

I was curious though about Mr Schmidt. Wikipedia tells me:

Csaba Schmidt (3 May 1979 – 19 March 2023) was a Hungarian chemist and politician, member of the National Assembly (MP) from Fidesz Komárom-Esztergom County Regional List between 2010 and 2014. He was elected mayor of Tatabánya on 3 October 2010.

Could the email be legit or have unsolicited solicitations reached a new low? I read on.

Mr. Schmidt was my friend and customer for many years and we were on regular communication until I was involved in a ghastly auto crash that claimed the lives of my 2 beloved brothers on our way back from a wedding and through this auto crash I lost all my vital contacts after spending a total of 4 months at the hospital on medical treatments and additional 2 weeks at a nursing home from what the doctor called partially retrograde amnesia. But thank God I am gradually coming out of amnesia. But unfortunately Mr. Schmidt was not aware of the accident and might have tried to contact me before his sudden and untimely death.

Big words, small errors. Errors nonetheless. BTW, retrograde amnesia describes ‘amnesia where you can’t recall memories that were formed before the event that caused the amnesia’. It usually affects recently stored past memories, not memories from years ago. So my correspondent remembered both long-ago stuff and recent memories.mmmm…

Frankly I have been restless and devastated since I heard the news of his death but unfortunately I cannot travel to your country now to meet you due to my present health condition and also the globe pandemic. But with the help of my only son Bill, I have made several efforts to contact a trustworthy citizen, NGO or a religious leader over a very important subject but all to no avail until this evening during my search that my son saw the page through which I got the above email address and I quickly asked my son to send this message directly to the address so that you will reply to me directly to enable me to send my condolences and also to discuss a very important subject with you in respect of my friend and customer Mr Schmidt and his office before I go in for spinal cord surgery in the coming days as advised by my doctors.

Am not at all sure how I could help with the condolences as I didn’t know the deceased. And I wonder what his family would think of all this?

I am currently hospitalized expecting to go into the operating room for a spinal cord surgery as I can only communicate with the help of my son Bill.

Please give me your direct telephone number and feel free to call or send me a whatsapp message and my son will inform me as soon as your message arrives.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best Regards and May God Bless You.

Mr. Thomas Schafer.

Sadly, he never included his number.

What is the world coming to? Do people really fall for this?

In fairness though, it was a one-time-only deal. Not like the recurring comments (three) I get on my blogs. And yes, I have filters and spam control and all sorts of security but these guys were sneaking by it for a couple of weeks from all sorts of email addresses:

Can you be more specific about the content of your article? After reading it, I still have some doubts. Hope you can help me.

More specific about which part specifically? Ye gads!

And this…

I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

And finally this …

I may need your help. I tried many ways but couldn’t solve it, but after reading your article, I think you have a way to help me. I’m looking forward for your reply. Thanks.

While I’m grateful for the ease with which I can communicate with others, I resent the time I spend removing these comments. Where’s the originality?

4 Responses

  1. Weird!! And not so much as the prospect of Learning Something To Your Advantage if you make contact!

  2. And changing the subject, have you noticed how “You need to . . .” is taking over from “Please . . .” Is this an Americanism?

  3. This is very enteresting what you are writing and I would like to publish it in big magazine (I am top editor in it) but I have a saw foot what needs operation so if you let me have your bank details we can make good deal and my foot will be get better.

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