We watched the South African film Wild is the Wind on Netflix the other night. Filmed in Eastern Cape and Great Karoo, parts of South Africa I’ve not been to, it still felt familiar. It’s a gripping movie with an excellent soundtrack. Anyway, what stuck with me was a scene when Vusi’s wife Abigail tells him that she thinks they already have a good life. But he wants so much more. He wants the freedom to be who he is.

Earlier that day, I’d stumbled on a poem by Sanne Burger that also spoke to that theme of being able to be who you are, which is why that scene, of all scenes, stuck with me. [Burger also has an interesting story of God and a girl.]

I can’t stay, mother.

I love you, but I wasn’t born to please you

I wasn’t born to make you happy

or give your life meaning.

I wasn’t born to rot under your wings
like an unhatched egg.

I can’t stay, teacher.

I wasn’t born to be put into your boxes

to think along your lines

or to memorize your facts
I was born to think independently.

I can’t stay, my love.

I wasn’t born to satisfy your needs

to take care of you

or to hide in your arms.

I wasn’t born to make myself smaller
or to be taken for granted.

I can’t stay, boss.

I wasn’t born to make money for others

I wasn’t born to follow orders

or to repeat the same day over and over again
I wasn’t born for boredom.

I can’t stay, master.

I wasn’t born to follow your ideas of what truth is

or to live according to your dogmas.

I was born to find my own truth
and make my own rules.

I was born to meet life full on

To get lost on Indian trains

To be seduced by dangerous men

To meet different faces, places and cultures

to be out in the jungle all night

To run with wolves

To be swept off my feet

To be taken by storm

To be heartbroken

Devastated

Stunned

Shocked

Lost
Thrown into the deep

I was born to get my hands dirty

To get sand in my mouth

Mud on my clothes

Thorns under my feet
I was born to jump into the abyss.

I was born to meet aliens

To do rituals

To be cracked open in ceremony

To go beyond time and space

To welcome magic
To totally loose myself

I was born to feel everything

To taste everything

The bitter taste of sorrow

The foul taste of deceit
The sweet taste of love

I was born to learn how to handle change gracefully

I was born to know the truth

to learn how to fly

I was born to learn how to speak the language of love

How to unchain my heart

How to shed everything

How to let go of all expectations.

I was born to learn how it feels to lose everything
except what really matters.

I was born to live a life that would strip away everything that wasn’t real

that wasn’t true

that wasn’t me

I am a phoenix.

I am born to spread my wings and fly towards the sun

To burn up and turn to ashes
To fall down to earth and rise up again

When I am old

I will be proud of my scars

My wrinkles

My memories

My stories

My wisdom

My freedom.

I was born to be free.

And therefore, I can’t stay

– Sanne Burger